the ocean has its shores

Some live their whole lives in the safety of the shallow end. Some experience the deep and never live in shallows again for the shallows are the much lesser of the two. Neither of these is how we are called to live.

When I say shallows I am referring to the shallow, simple, everyday concerns of life -- eating, drinking, socializing, walking, working. When I say the deep I am referring to the insightful, relational, intimacy with Christ. Sometimes we can be so pompous to think that the everyday concerns of life are of no importance and cannot bring about any fruit for Christ; this is not true. The shallow aspects are just as much of God as the profound aspects. God designed us to be dependent on food, water, human interaction, sleep, and work, and therefore he gave us the ability to bring glory to him in those. So many times I find myself alienating these concerns and thinking of them as lesser and thinking I should not waste any excess time, work, or emotion into them. These aspects of life are essential, in fact they take up a majority of our time so why should they not be used as tools for Christ?

Oswald Chambers put it this way: "It is not your devotion to God that makes you refuse to be shallow, but your wish to impress other people with the fact that you are not shallow, which is a sure sign that you are a spiritual prig....To be shallow is no sign of being wicked, nor is shallowness a sign that there are no deeps: the ocean has a shore.

Jesus walked, talked, ate, slept, and conversed with people of this earth. He used those simple everyday interactions to help build the relationships and prepare people for the depths to come. Now he also did not solely swim in the shallows; many, many times he would go off and swim in the deep in intimacy with his father. Chambers says we are to "never show the deeps to anyone but God." Only God cares about your depths, and if you are to reveal those to anyone else, you are probably doing it out of pride and searching for recognition from people and things of this world. The depths are meant for you and God alone.

Chambers closes with "Determinedly take no one seriously but God, and the first person you find you have to leave severely alone as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself."

Swim in the shallows. Swim in the deeps.

spiritual retreat

before we leave for uruguay tomorrow i figured it'd be good to splurge everything that has happened in the past few days. this weekend was the spiritual retreat. we did lots of group bonding games (toxic river, blanket folding, crazy relay, panty hose/banana/pudding, group sit, human knot), had lots of food, had some great student speakers, had small groups, had free time (pool party), had church and communion, hardly slept bc it was so hot out, everything skit, encouragement notes, found a puppy in the trash, and then some.

i got to skype with shannon today. super stoked for her to get here. we had convo tonight and went to benny hana's (sp?) which is one of those hibachi grill places. studying tonight for our econ test which is essentially a final bc we havent had a test or quiz all semester. tomorrow night we leave for uruguay! oh and alycia decided to stay for the second semester, super great news!

the sweet cup.

The other day I was reading the daily devotional out of Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest  and came across a couple sentences that really stuck out at me (there's great ideas/truths/nuggets of wisdom everyday but this one really resonated with me.) It goes:

Always guard against self-chosen service for God; self-sacrifice may be a disease. If od has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace; if He has made it bitter, drink it in communion with Him. If the providential order of God for you is a hard time of difficulty, go through with it, but never choose the scene of your martyrdom.

It's been very obvious to me that this time in life is that of a sweet cup -- life feels too good to be true. I'm surrounded by so many studly and amazing people, I get to go to an amazing school with a super sick campus here in BA, classes are interesting and relatively easy (compared to last year), we get so much good food, i get to travel the world, I'm relatively healthy, and so much more. In the past when I've been in times with a lack of struggle, I have struggled. I like challenges, I like having something to fight against. It's in struggles where I find myself growing and coming closer to God, and so I have turned away the sweet times and prayed for more hard times. This passage made me realize that my desire to struggle is a self-chosen service, a selfish sacrifice and that that is unholy. There is a season for everything, and that includes times for the sweet cup. I need to know that struggles are sure to come my way, but for now in this time of joy, bliss, happiness, easiness, and sweetness I need to be so, so thankful  and need to learn how to see, feel, and grow in God outside of a struggling context. 

catch-up

this week has involved a lot of time spent trying to get an Bolivian visa and after 5 days of work, many hours spent on subtes and buses, many lines, and a buncha money later i finally got it. ive also had a couple awesome skype dates with jack, and brandon and ben. we went to a tango show on wednesday (it was pretty much sex on the dance floor and the girls were hardly wearing anything so it was pretty awkward for some of us) and i had the best meal ive had yet- some kind of meat salad with sauteed vegetables, a sirloin steak with potato fries, and pistachio creme brulee. ive also been doing some planning/research for our long weekend and christmas break.

Zarate

This past weekend we went camping with a fairly large group(15) in a town about an hour and a half northwest of BA. We went by train, which was pretty sketch- they had police officers patrolling up and down the aisles. We went in two waves, one had to stay behind for tango. The first groups train had some mechanical issues so we had to get off and wait for an hour and a half for the next one. We got to talking with some interesting recovering drug addicts who wanted to swap dates with our American girls for dates with Argentinian girls. Eventually the next train came, with the other group on it and we took it all the way up to Zarate.

Once we got there, we didn't really know where we were going but we were lucky enough to have met one of the nicest guys ever and he helped get us to the central plaza to take taxis. When we were told the fare to our campground would be 80 pesos i was fine with it but some people balked at the offer and let their pride get in the way. 3.5 hours of walking later, they were regretting that. It was one of the toughest walks i have ever been on. We were carrying tons of food, 5 gallon bottles of water, and our heavy packs. Not enjoyable. We eventually got there, set up, and went right to sleep.

The next day we got to actually check out the campground and found it to be SUPER cool. It was a mix between a New Orleans bayou, Texas forest, and a Carribean cabana. What looked like 1960s cruise liners had been driven up on land and converted into sketchy hotel rooms, bars, and restaurants. When we were exploring it felt like we were on the Gooneys. We spent a lot of time chilling at the beach, playing in the river, throwing mud at each other, cooking back at the campground, and simply taking it easy.

That night we had a bomb dinner and had a big ole fire. The Argentines around us were so nice, theyd just come up and give us some of their meat that they had cooked. Later in the night, one of the groups came over and asked if they could hang and talk with us. We ended up talking with them for like 4 hours (in spanish) about almost every topic you could think of. It was my first long conversation with an Argentine. After much time spent around the fire, we all eventually went to bed. The next morning we had to get up somewhat early and pack up. When we left we decided to take taxis back- smart decision. It was a great, chill weekend spent with some solid people in a solid place.

Colonia, Uruguay

Today the whole program went to Uruguay. The main purpose was to get our 90-day Argentine tourist visas renewed but it also acted as a mini-EFT. We got up at the crack of dawn and had to be at the casa at 6:45. From there we took buses to Puerto Madero and took the ferry across the river (which really looks like an ocean) for an hour an arrived in Colonia. We all took naps on the ferry.

We had a city tour for the first half of the day, and then lunch. We free time for 2 hours after lunch so Wes, Jake, Paul, Luke, Austin and I rented a mule (6-person ATV) and went to town on it. We were zooming down the tiny, ancient streets of Uruguay, getting passed (in very friendly ways) on their equivalent of PCH,  went off-roading through beachy-woods and onto the beaches (which we weren't supposed to do), parked on the outskirts of the Sheraton Hotel (a 5-star, tropically decorated hotel), snuck in and acted like regular patrons, swam in their pool, drove around a new private neighbohood development, drove around the golf course, more beach runs, hit speed bumps too fast, and topped it off with a little trinket shopping. The entire time we never saw one security guard, police officer, or questioning local. Uruguay is super chill, nice, sunny, and laid back. I'm super excited to go there for our long weekend coming up.

mykonos

been feeling pretty crappy lately so i havent been too good at keeping this up.

on sunday i went to the ecological preserve that ive been meaning to go to for quite a while. its a lot more impressive than i thought itd be. in some ways, it reminded me of the walk on the way to the points in malibu- wide open gravel trail, bodies of water filled with cat-tails, weeds, and seaweed of sorts. gettin out in the wild on our EFT was a tease so getting back into the urban jungle of BA was hard for me. this afternoon back out in nature was a great relief. God showed up.

i spent a lot of time this week cranking out papers so that i can go camping this weekend. also had lots of doc appts and pharmacy visits. hope this isn't a polyp. i also got to skype shelbs this week which was great.   wrote a few letters. got a letter from grandma and grandpa.

tonight we went to mykonos- a greek restaurant. the pita bread was so bomb. im swear im gunna come out of this year being a fatty. at multiple points during the dinner the lights would dim and a guy and girl would come out doing some kind of greek dance. at one point they invited all us to come dance and it turned into one big fat greek dance party. we also got to throw plates on the ground as they danced for us. such a fun night. tomorrow is uruguay.